Monday, November 1, 2010

every day is halloween...

My Jack Skellington O'Lantern

 Lessons I learned from last night's trick-or-treaters...

  1. If the door doesn't open within 2 seconds of ringing the door bell, start knocking loudly and repeatedly, while also ringing the door bell again.
  2. Even though you've been given a big handful of candy, keep your bag open and ask for more.
  3. Costumes are apparently optional.
  4. Never leave candy out as a self-serve as my neighbours did. While some will live up to the honour code and just take one or two pieces, within an hour two uncostumed teenagers will just dump the entire bowl into the garbage bags they're using as trick-or-treat bags...
  5. If you like a decoration at someone's house, you should ask if you can have it. And if they say no, ask for something else. And keep asking until your mother, totally embarrassed finally tells you to shut up and say thank you for the candy.  
And then the most important lesson of the night - Parenting tips from the mother of the year:
  1. As your 10 children crowd around the door, all jostling for treats,  scream at them repeatedly to be careful of the jack-o-lantern as "There's FIRE there", all the while smoking a cigarette I can still smell in my hallway. Then, open your own pillowcase to collect for "my sick kid at home" (funny she said that last year, I remember her) and then hold the pillow case directly over the FIRE you were so worried about 2 seconds before. 
 Remind me again why I spend my evening waiting around to give out candy to people I don't know?

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